After wrestling with a cookie-cutter concept of true romance for years, married mother of three Heather Delaney decided to look at her husband from a brand-new perspective.
In giving up her idea of love as being inextricable from the flowers, poems, chocolates, and grand romantic gestures of movies and romance novels, Heather came to realize that her husband did love her. It’s just that he loved her in his own unique way.
“If his restaurant order is better, he’ll switch plates. He knows all my favorite ‘lady products’ and will run to the…
On Oct. 13, 2019, Heather decided to consolidate everything she had come to realize about love. She penned a moving ode to her husband’s totally unique brand of “true romance” and shared it with Love What Matters. Her heartwarming words are touching readers across the nation.
“He always pushes the grocery cart,” Heather began, “and when we get back to the truck, he always unlocks the doors immediately so that I can get in, and then proceeds to unload the groceries while I’m sat in the truck with the seat warmers on.
“Rain or shine. Every time. This is our grocery game plan.”
“Can I let you all in on a little secret?” Heather continued. “It’s taken me many years to appreciate being loved like this. You see, I spent (i.e. wasted) a lot of time looking for all the ways in which love is shown in the movies, in the magazines, and on the commercials.”
Flowers, chocolates, romantic meals, and surprise getaways, Heather explained, had ultimately doctored her view of what love should look like. “And guess what?” she wrote. “I was disappointed time, and time, and time again.
“I was looking for the ways that I was being told he should show his love, instead of paying attention to how he actually does show his love. And when I eventually came to that realization, friends, that was the relationship game-changer.”
The grateful wife, waking up to the reality of her happy marriage and loving husband, suddenly realized that the flowers, chocolates, romantic meals, and surprise getaways of her imagination didn’t matter after all.
“He rarely buys flowers, but he calls me everyday when he gets off of work to see if I need anything picked up,” Heather wrote.
“He can only boil eggs and butter bread,” she continued, in mock exasperation, “so while I have never walked into a dining room with candles flickering and plates of gourmet goodness laid out, he wakes up every Sunday morning, puts on coffee, pours it into my favourite mug, and passes it to me while I’m cozied up on the living room couch.”
Heather’s husband has noticed her and has shown his love in so many ways that ultimately mean more to Heather than the clichéd gifts we are taught to invest in.
Heather’s husband has sat in a theater on Broadway and endured a musical that his wife wanted to see; he has visited more museums and libraries in a lifetime than perhaps he’d have liked. He has gotten up in the night to tend to a crying baby; he’ll switch plates in a restaurant if his food looks better than his wife’s.
But he has never complained, Heather shared, not once.
“You know, the more I think of it,” Heather wrote, “the flowers die. The chocolate and meals get devoured. The surprise getaways happen, and then they’re over.
“But it’s in the moments that you can depend on (over and over and over again), well, that’s where the love is found. The good love. The always love. It’s that kind of love I want to walk through this life feeling.”
Heather’s words of love and gratitude toward the husband who knows her so well, and shows his love as best he can, offers a model for spouses everywhere. Heather signed off with a gentle plea to all women.
“Don’t search for the flowers, ladies,” she wrote. “Nor waste your time in want of the chocolates. Search for the one who will push your grocery cart, for that’s where the always-kinda love is.”
After sharing her ode to love on her personal Instagram page, Heather received a flurry of comments from followers. Many thanked her for allowing them to see their own partners with renewed appreciation.
“Thank you so much for this, it’s absolutely beautiful. I truly appreciate my partner so much more,” wrote one follower.
“Here’s the important things in relationships! [He] will be your keeper, not the one that gives flowers and chocolates,” wrote another follower, while one person reflected, “Beautifully written. It’s the small things that count.”
After all is said and done, true romance has nothing to do with the movies or the magazines; it’s romance tailored to the needs of the one you love.